Domestic abuse support

Domestic violence and abuse is the emotional, financial, physical, psychological or sexual abuse of someone by a person they know. This could be a partner, ex-partner, friend or family member. 

Domestic abuse is not just about violence; it can also be about someone you know trying to control your life. Living with domestic abuse can have a long-lasting impact on physical and mental wellbeing for you and those who live with you. 

Anyone can be subjected to abuse, regardless of their social background, age, gender, religion, sexuality or ethnicity.  

If you are in fear of a partner, ex-partner or member of your family, you might be experiencing domestic abuse. This can include:

• calling you names or putting you down in front of others
• making you feel bad about yourself
• threats to kill or harm you, your family or pets
• physical or sexual assaults
• preventing you from seeing friends or family 
• withholding or restricting access to money 
• withholding your phone

Domestic Abuse can manifest itself online. This could be monitoring your social media, your emails, in home devices, what you are searching online and location monitoring.

Hacking is a criminal offence under the Computer Misuse Act and can be reported through Action Fraud.

Please read: How to hide this visit from your web history | Sussex Police

Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off event, and physical violence often escalates in frequency and severity over time.

It is not always easy to believe that you are in an abusive relationship but acknowledging that you are is an important step in preventing and stopping the violence and abuse.

No matter who you are, you have the right to live free from violence and abuse.

The legal definition from the Domestic Abuse Act 2021

Behaviour of a person towards another person is “domestic abuse” if:

• the people concerned are each aged 16 or over and are personally connected to each other (partner, ex-partner, family member), and
• the behaviour is abusive

Behaviour is “abusive” if it consists of any of the following:

• physical or sexual abuse
• violent or threatening behaviour
• controlling or coercive behaviour
• economic abuse
• psychological, emotional or other abuse

It does not matter whether the behaviour consists of a single incident or a course of conduct.

Domestic abuse is a crime. Domestic abuse comes in many forms.

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 covers different types of abusive behaviour such as:

Physical abuse

Physical abuse can be violent such as hitting, punching, shoving, biting and kicking. Or, it can be the threat of physical violence. It also includes throwing things at you or pushing you.

Sexual abuse

Any sexual activity that happens without your full and informed consent. Sex should not make you feel uncomfortable or degraded.

Coercive control

Coercive control is when someone you are close to repeatedly behaves in a way that makes you feel controlled, dependent, isolated or scared.

Financial and Economic abuse

Financial abuse is when you don't have full control of your own money. Someone may have put you in debt, always check your bank account or make you pay their living expenses.

Emotional and psychological abuse

Psychological abuse is causing fear by intimidation, name calling, swearing or yelling, blaming and guilt tripping.

Gaslighting is also a form of emotional abuse. It involves manipulating you to make you doubt your own sanity.

Gaslighting makes you question your perceptions, memory and judgement.

Take a look at the questions below and see if you can relate to any of them.

• do you change your behaviour because you're frightened of your partner's reaction?
• do you feel that you're walking on eggshells?
• do you feel controlled, or isolated?
• does someone limit your control over your own money?
• do they play mind games and make you doubt your judgment?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then there is help available for you.

Children living with domestic violence and abuse are more likely than other children to be directly abused themselves. Children witnessing domestic violence and abuse are at risk of being harmed emotionally and psychologically and their education and behaviour and development may also suffer.

Other ways that domestic abuse can affect a child can be found on the NSPCC - Signs, indicators and effects.

How you can help a child

• tell them what they have seen or heard is wrong and that they can talk to you or somebody else they trust about their feelings
• let them know about services such as Childline and Your Space West Sussex
• plan together what to do if they feel unsafe

More details of ways to help can be found in the Women's Aid Survivors Handbook.

The NSPCC Helpline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Help if you are being hurt

We are here to support you. Domestic abuse is never your fault.

If you contact us we will:

• listen to you
• assess your safety
• help you with your legal and housing rights
• help you if you go to court
• help you to get legal protection
• work with you and other professionals to help make you safer

Making you safer might involve:

• helping you separate from the person who is hurting you
• involving extra services to help you with your needs
• trying to reduce your risks if you want to remain with the person who is hurting you

If you need emergency housing, you should speak with Housing Options and Advice.

We can engage with the person who is hurting you to try and reduce the abuse. This will only happen if it is safe. We will work with you and won't force you to do anything you're not ready to do.

If you prefer we can arrange to see you somewhere else that is safe, accessible and comfortable for you.

Help if someone you know is being hurt

You could make a big difference to someone living in an abusive situation by contacting us. We can help make them safe.

We can keep your identity secret if you don't want the person being hurt to know that you contacted us.

If you contact us we can:

• contact the person you're worried is being hurt
• assess their safety
• help protect them from harm
• help them with legal and housing rights
• help them if they go to court
• help them to get legal protection
• work with them and other professionals to help make them safe

Making them safer might involve:

• helping them separate from the person who is hurting them
• involving extra services to help them with their needs
• trying to reduce their risks if they want to remain with the person who is hurting them

Help if you are hurting someone

If you're worried that your behaviour is hurting others, there are specialists who can work with you and support you to change your behaviour, like Respect Phoneline.

Help if you think your partner has hurt somebody before

The domestic violence disclosure scheme (DVDS) is often called 'Clare's Law' after the landmark case that led to it.

It gives you the right to ask the police:

• if your partner has a history of domestic abuse
• if a close friend's partner or family member's partner has a history of domestic abuse

You can submit a request for this information via the Sussex Police website, or by calling 101.

We keep any information you share with us confidential. However, if we are concerned about the safety of a child or adult, we are legally required to share that information with the appropriate agencies. This could include the police, Children and Families Services, or Adult Social Care.

We will:

• try to get your consent before sharing information
• only share information without your permission if you or someone else is at risk of serious harm
• never share anything you tell us with the person who is harming you

If you or someone you know is being hurt, or you have hurt someone we can help. Contact us.

Before you get in touch, read our confidentiality section to find out how we handle your information.

You can contact us directly, or you can ask someone else. For example, your doctor, housing officer or social worker.

• our telephone number is 01903 737552 - Monday to Thursday 8.45am to 5.15pm and Friday 8.45am to 4.45pm
• outside of these times you need to phone 01903 737500 which will put you through to our out of hours service.
• our email is housing.options@arun.gov.uk

If you are in immediate danger, always call the police on 999.

If you want to speak to someone outside office hours:

• call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. It is free to call and always open.
• call us on 01903 737552. We can help you with emergency housing - Homeless or at risk of homelessness | Arun District Council

We are fully committed to being an anti-racist organisation. We reject racism in all its forms. We actively work to fix unfair systems, challenge structural inequality, and ensure every person in our community feels safe, valued, and respected.

Core Commitments

• Zero Tolerance: We ban all forms of racial discrimination, harassment, and bias within our workforce and services.
• Systemic Change: We regularly review our policies and procedures to remove hidden barriers and unfair gaps in public outcomes.
• Community Voice: We listen to Black and racially minoritised residents and staff to shape our actions using their real-life experiences.
• Transparent Leadership: We publish clear data, hold ourselves accountable for progress, and lead by positive example across our region.

Domestic abuse can be difficult to understand.

The following tools may be useful in helping you understand your situation and making decisions about whether you want to get help. They're also useful for professionals working with clients in helping to explore domestic abuse.

• Resources and information wheels available on the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention website
• Understanding Domestic Abuse - Chapter 2 (pages 12-54) “Domestic Abuse: Draft Statutory Guidance 2021” (gov.uk website)
• Hear Me - Guidance for Practitioners

Please see Homeless or at risk of homelessness if you are facing any of these issues.

The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) is also known as 'Clare's law'. This is because of the landmark case that led to it.

Clare's law gives any member of the public the right to ask the police if their partner may pose a risk to them.

A member of the public can also make enquiries into the partner of a close friend or family member.

Clare's law has two functions:

• right to ask - this enables someone to ask the police about a partner's previous history of domestic abuse or violent acts
• right to know - police can proactively disclose information in certain circumstances

You can apply for Clare's law by:

• attending your local police station - a police officer will take the details of what prompted the enquiry and talk through the next steps
• online via the Sussex Police website

The police will invite you to a meeting. At this stage, you will need identification.

The police will not make the disclosure in writing and documents are not provided.

Under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (Clare's Law), a local authority (such as a social worker) can make an official request for disclosure if they suspect an an individual is at risk of domestic abuse.

When a local authority submits a request on behalf of someone else, they must demonstrate that they have a safeguarding duty and that there is a genuine concern for that person's safety. The police will carry out the necessary background checks and-if a risk is identified-the information will be shared with the potential victim, not just the local authority, so the victim can make an informed decision about their safety. 

To initiate an application on behalf of an individual, a local authority representative or practitioner should contact their regional police force.

What is sexual abuse?

According to the UK Department of Health: "Sexual violence covers a wide range of abusive acts directed towards an individual's sexuality, including sexual assault, rape, sexual coercion, sexual bullying and female genital mutilation."

Are you a victim of sexual violence or abuse?

Any behaviour of a sexual nature which is unwanted and takes place without your consent constitutes sexual violence or abuse.

You may have experienced sexual violence or abuse either as a child or adult, from a partner, ex-partner, date, friend, family member, colleague, a professional you know or form someone you don't know. 

If an individual touches you in a way you do not want to be touched, makes unwanted sexual demands, hurts you during sex, pressures you into having unsafe sex (not using a condom), pressures you into having sex or has sex with you when you don't want to - these are all examples of sexual abuse, which is never OK!

Sexual violence and abuse is always wrong. There is specialist support available; please see our list of contact organisations further down this page.

What is stalking?

Stalking is a pattern of repeated, persistent and unwanted behaviour that is invasive and can generate fear. Stalkers can be male or female. Stalking occurs when the person becomes fixated and obsessed with another. Stalking is a devastating crime and its impact can result in major life changes, for example:

• living in constant fear
• invasion of privacy
• threats of violence
• loss of employment
• having to move
• isolation, unable to go out
• depression, Anxiety & PTSD
• potential physical injuries

What is non-domestic abuse-related stalking?

Non-domestic abuse-related stalking is where a victim is being stalked but has not been in a relationship with the stalker.

What the Stalking Advocacy Service can do for you

If you are experiencing stalking, then the Stalking Advocacy Service can:

• assess risk
• create a bespoke safety plan
• identify and support your needs and wishes
• support with reporting to the police
• support with civil legal interventions
• signpost to solicitors
• support with housing applications
• discuss/identify your options
• provide emotional support and refer to counselling services
• advocate with other agencies

Documenting Evidence

It is important to gather evidence and document what is happening, you can do this by:

• keeping a diary/log - include dates, time, location, and the personal impact it has had on you
• screenshotting text messages, save emails, keep postage details of unwanted gifts

Support

You can take immediate action if you are being stalked by calling the police on 101 (non-emergency) or 999 if you are in immediate danger. 

The National Stalking Helpline provides advice and guidance if you are being made to feel harassed or intimidated by the behaviour of another person or know someone who is. Phone 0808 802 0300

Paladin National Stalking Advocacy Service provides advice to all victims of stalking and professionals working with them. Phone 020 3866 4107

Veritas Justice provides support and advice for individuals affected by stalking. Phone 01273 234773

Pets are often pulled into patterns of domestic abuse and coercive control, which should be viewed as a clear indicator of risk to the animal and the humans in that household.

Domestic abuse is not only about what happens to people. Perpetrators may threaten or harm family pets to intimidate, punish, or trap victim-survivors in unsafe situations. Pets are part of family life; exploiting that bond is a powerful coercive-control tactic that can delay leaving or force a return.

• Threats (“If you're late home, I'll beat the dog.”)
• Actual harm (injury or killing of pets)
• Neglect as leverage (withholding food, vet care, or access)
• Barriers to safety (refuges or temporary housing that can't accept pets)

Below is a list of organisations that can provide a safe space for pets until the owner has a place to live that is free from danger.

Cats Protection Lifeline

Offers free, confidential cat fostering for survivors of domestic abuse, enabling people to reach safety while their cats are cared for by trusted volunteers. Operates across multiple UK regions.

Dogs Trust Freedom Project

Provides a free fostering service for dogs belonging to people fleeing domestic abuse. Dogs are temporarily placed with volunteer foster carers until their owners are rehoused and ready to be reunited.

Women's Aid created a directory that contains up to date information about local domestic abuse support services. It is regularly updated by the services listed so you'll be able to find the right local support, when you need it most.

We do not commission the services and do not have responsibility for the quality of services.

You can find guidance on gov.uk or use the local and national organisations below.

National services

Hourglass - support for adults aged 50+. Phone: 0808 808 8141 (24 hours a day).

Hersana - support for Black survivors of abuse and violence. Phone: 0333 016 9610 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm).

Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline - support for LGBT+ people. Phone: 0300 330 0630 (10am to 10pm every day).

Opoka - domestic abuse support for Polish women and their families. Phone: 0300 365 1700 (Polish; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, 10am to 1pm).

Surviving Economic Abuse - UK charity raising awareness of and responding to economic abuse.

Action Fraud - reporting fraud and cybercrime.

Citizens Advice Bureau - general legal advice.

Domestic Violence Assist - support with non-molestation, occupation and prohibited steps orders.

Galop / National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline - domestic abuse support for LGBT+ people.

Imkaan - national umbrella organisation addressing violence against Black and minoritised women and girls.

Jewish Women's Aid - domestic abuse support for Jewish women

Latin American Women's Aid - domestic abuse support for Latin American women

ManKind Initiative - helping men escape domestic abuse

Men's Advice Line - domestic abuse support for male survivors

National Domestic Abuse helpline - available 24/7

NCDV - support with emergency court injunctions

Praxis - support for migrants and refugees

Rape Crisis - support for survivors of rape and sexual violence

Rights of Women - free legal advice

SignHealth - domestic abuse support for people from the deaf community

Survivors UK - support for male survivors of sexual violence

Suzy Lamplugh Trust / National Stalking Helpline - support for victims of stalking

The Cyber Helpline - Support for victims of cyber crime

The Traveller Movement - a specialist domestic abuse helpline for all Gypsy, Roma and Traveller women looking for help in the UK

Karma Nirvana - Support to people affected by issues related to forced marriage or 'honour' crimes. Lines are open from 9.30am to 5pm

IKWRO - support for Middle Eastern, North African and Afghan women and girls.

Women's Aid - domestic abuse information and support.

Refuge - domestic abuse support services.

Victim Support - information and support relating to domestic abuse.

As well as the services above, there are a number of other organisations that may be able to help.

Local services

My Sisters' House is a women's centre based in Bognor Regis. They can be contacted on 01243 697800.

Safe Space Sussex is an online directory of local victim and witness specialist support services.

Safe in Sussex is a registered charity providing help and support for people affected by domestic abuse in West Sussex.

The Daisy Chain Project is a charity based in Worthing aiming to help fight domestic violence.

Veritas Justice is a Sussex-based service for victims of stalking.

Lifecentre is a charity offering support to people of all ages, genders and backgrounds who have had an unwanted sexual experience.

The Safer West Sussex Partnership holds information related to Domestic Abuse Related Death Reviews (DARDRs). 

This information can be viewed at: Domestic Abuse Related Death Reviews - West Sussex County Council